Individuals who are caught in an emotional dance, experience repetitive unsatisfying patterns of behavior driven by conflicted emotions. The emotional "dance" eventually creates disconnection and increasing polarization as the individuals push each other away with their reactions to the negative emotion. Typically one partner will become pursuant and the other will become avoidant, although sometimes both become pursuant or both become avoidant. Regardless of the dance steps, the couple's  inability to communicate or resolve hard feelings worsens over time driving increased levels of relational dissatisfaction, as one's reactions fuel the other's negative emotions and vice versa.

The principles of Emotionally Focussed Therapy can be used for couples, family members, or individuals to understand and breakthrough the confusion of a complex relational dynamic in any facet of life. It is based on Attachment Theory, and seeks to repair connection within relationships. The work begins by bringing understanding to the underlying emotional process which creates deescalation, and then moves on to heal attachment injuries, bringing renewed connection, joy, and emotional freedom. Amongst these signs, we know therapy has been succesful when it creates a "hold me tight" embrace.